Sunday, July 26, 2009

Advice For Mommies


I recently met with a client who had come to me for counseling. She stated that her husband encouraged her to come in because he had concerns about her emotional stability. In listening to her describe her weekly routine, it became clear that this young woman spent all of her waking hours taking care of her two young children and husband. She typically did not go to bed at night until three in the morning because she would do housework after her children had gone to bed. I asked her if she ever spent time with friends, or by herself out of the house. She reflected momentarily, but eventually responded in a soft voice, “no.” In fact, she was unable to share what her favorite pastime is.

Remembering who you are is something that all parents have to remember. I have found, both personally and professionally, that women seem to have more difficulty with this concept. Our personal goals, interests, and passions are frequently halted once we have children. We immerse ourselves in being mommy, and taking care of all of those around us. It is critically important that we nurture our children by being present emotionally, spiritually, and physically. However, we simply have to remember to nurture ourselves as well. Sometimes we feel guilty or selfish if we say that we need time apart from our children or spouse. But guess what? That individual time may very well help you maintain your sanity. Whether its fifteen minutes a day, or two hours a week…make sure to take your me time. Do the things you once enjoyed like painting, socializing, playing an instrument, and going to the movies or plays. This will help you to feel more fulfilled, and will ultimately help you to be an even better parent!

Happy Parenting,
GaƩtane Borders, MA, ABD

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