Friday, May 14, 2010

Confessions Of a Non Snappy-Fingered Black Woman

My daily serene morning drive to work was so rudely interrupted by the sounds coming from the car stereo this morning. As I flipped casually from station to station (in my attempt to avoid yet another song about loving a stripper, big booties, freaks, B#!ches and Ho’s), I landed on a popular Atlanta morning show. It’s a pop station which caters mostly to the Caucasian demographic. However, on this day they had one of their interns who is Black speaking on-air.

Ok…give me just one sec to get bandages for my ears because they are still bleeding……. Alright I’m back. SO, here’s the gist of what the show was discussing…. Apparently, this 22-year-old intern made a statement a few days ago that he does not/ has never dated a Black woman because he finds them to be too aggressive. To be exact, he said Black women have the “snappy finger,” “Oh no you didn’t,” “wag you head” attitude that he finds unattractive. But to make it better he did say that he does have Black friends. He later went on to explain that he went to a predominantly White school, and did not grow up around many fellow African Americans. Hmmm….

Let’s pause for one second because I want to give you time to play the Where’s G game with me. Take a look at my senior class picture....


Now time how long it takes to pick me out in the group. Exactly .001 seconds, right?!? As you can see, I, too, grew up in a predominantly White setting. Somehow, however, I am immune to the Allergy-to-Black-People Disease….hereafter called ABPD.

I really tried to be open minded about what this young man had to say. That is until he began talking about his mother! One of the co-hosts asked him about her, and he replied that he found that his mother embodied all the negative stereotypes that he associates with all Black women. I listened to what he said with a clinical mind, but it was hard not to personalize his comments. I put myself in his mother's shoes.  Anyone who knows me realized a long time ago that I am a spirited, feisty, spunky, energetic, go-getting, and lively kind-of-woman.  As a parent of both a Black son and a Black daughter, I immediately thought about them and if there is anything in my behavior that would cause them to catch the ABPD syndrome. I don’t believe so. Instead, I hope that I am successfully teaching them not to be biased against anyone….INCLUDING their own!


Happy (Unbiased) Parenting,




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1 comment:

  1. A lot of men feel that way. I don't think there is anything wrong in someone have a choice of who they choose to date/like/love. I am a black woman with a beautiful black husband but I think everyone should be free to choose

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