Sunday, June 13, 2010

Can a person that was in a abusive relationship that was the abuser change and truly be sorry for the actions they took against another person?

Thanks for reaching out to me by asking such a complex question:) Interestingly, I recently wrote an article about this very issue...

As a psychologist, I believe that change (in any way) is possible. However, the individual has to first recognize a desire to change. That desire has to be fueled by a realization that something is wrong. Then...that person HAS to be willing to put in A TON of work (emotionally, behaviorally, and cognitively) in order to effect the change. This last part is what causes people to repeat a cycle of abuse. In other words, although an abuser may recognize that their behavior is wrong, they are not willing or capable of identifying and coping with the root cause for their abusive behaviors.

I recently spoke with a man who was able to make that change from abuser to loving husband and father. He is now an outspoken leader on this subject. His name is Yahanseh Nyghtstorm, and he was the inspiration for the article that I wrote. (

I hope that I answered your question, but please don't hesitate to reach out again if you'd like:)


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