Sunday, May 15, 2011

Staying Sane: A Parent's Tale

I recently read this poem, and wanted to share it with ALL parents (because I know you understand-lol) Being a parent is a no-joke-situation…but quite often, the stuff we have to deal with is simply funny. So here’s a reminder to remember to laugh about the “battles” we often face as parents. Yes, this post is inspired by my 6-year-old (going on 56-year-old) baby girl! She reminds me each and every day that although I AM in control….I am not always in charge.


The Toddler’s Creed

If it is on, I must turn it off.If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled. If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or
    smeared. If it is high, it must be reached. If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be  
     pushed by me instead. If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone. If it is paper, it must be
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it is food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a carseat, it must be protested with an arched back.
 If it is Mommy (or Daddy), it must be hugged. I am toddler! 

Happy Parenting,


  1. HAAAAAAa!!! That is Hilarious!!! I especially like the toilet water one because that is one of Alex's favorites!!! LOL And of course the running with sharp things (the girls but have not been doing it anymore, thank God!), ohhhh all of those are so on point!!! Add the ones the pastor read today and that really covers everything!! LOL

  2. I giggled with each line I copied, Kristen! Loved the ones he shared today...and this extended version definitely put a smile on my face. Just had to google it after hearing him share it today:) Thanks for reading;)